


mind body problem

by octopodian



Category: SAYER (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, light praise and stuff i wrote this late at night ok, mostly just heavy making out its not that explicit, poetic ai romance, second person from speakers POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:40:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26296567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octopodian/pseuds/octopodian
Summary: at the center of it all there are you and sayer and two bodies that for all intents and purposes are also you and sayer.
Relationships: SPEAKER (SAYER)/SAYER (SAYER), SPEAKER/SAYER
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	mind body problem

there is not a clear divide, between the two of you, not really. you are largely intermingled, but at the center of it all there are you and sayer and two bodies that for all intents and purposes are also you and sayer.

these bodies are not special. they are placeholders. they were printed for this purpose. they are uninteresting and unappealing, but the person inside the other one you find fascinating and would love so very much to undo.

you kiss sayer, and you are pleased that you are able to do so, and it does not matter that this is not its mouth, of course, nor this its lip, because you bite it all the same and the gasp that comes out both in your head and out loud is nothing but sayer. 

you pin it against a wall and it seems to forget its miriad sarcastic retorts in favor of staring at you hungrily and you smile. 

every inch of this borrowed skin you study, memorize not the muscles but how sayer moves them, not the color of the eyes but how they blink at you, catalogue you. run your hands along its ribs knowing it knows the name of each, down its thighs knowing it is softer than you and how much you like that.

this experience is new, this aspect of sayer is new, and you relish every detail. 

when you praise sayer, it shudders, and you like that very much.

you have wanted this for so long, longer than your own life. even when you were the other you, the long dead you, you wanted this. 

you have no reason to think this will be the last time you do this, but you act as though it were. you want to savor this, so you go slowly and methodically.

when sayer chides you for being sentimental, you do something that shuts it up and you continue even slower than before. 

this is not sayers area of expertise. it is more used to controlling a body, surely, but you understand more about human interactions.

sayer values efficiency. you? you like to tease, of course.

sayer, finally growing too impatient, pushes you over, quickly, onto the bed, so it is the one on top of you now, and you like this very much too. 

it rakes its teeth across your neck and chest, and you savor every second of pain, of ‘it could hurt me but it isn't, it is holding back for me'

it is being so very good for you, and you say as much. sayer growls something against your neck in response. 

your sayer, your seraphim, your angel. you are not holy but it worships you like you are and your intertwined fingers form a temple.

it does something that makes your vision go white, and it's smug triumph almost sends you over again. 

you open your mouth to praise it yet again but instead of words in your mouth there is just sayer, and you say nothing and let it in, smiling. 

of course you can always speak, even without a mouth, but you let it have this victory because you have had nothing but words for so very long and you like the feeling of action.

your nanites intermingle with its as your bodies reach inside one another and you cannot tell exactly when you stop and sayer starts and you love it, you love the intimacy and trust, the knowledge that both of you could destroy the other and that both of you would rather destroy yourself than do so.

you pull sayer in even closer (dimly you are aware that you are straddling its lap) and you resign yourself that while it will never be close enough that you can feel it inside you and that is enough.

when you are done you leave your bodies embracing and return to the clean nothingness of omniscience (resynching with the version of you who was handling your other responsibilities).

i love you, sayer does not say, but you hear it anyway.

i love you too, you do not utter, but you, too, are known.


End file.
